The Compiled Thoughts of an Earthly Genius and a Plutonian Sky

The TRUE Story behind the events of the ninth day, of the tenth month, of the seventh year, of the twenty first-century, of the planet Earth, located in the Milky Way-

So pretty much in a wonderfully random collection of twisted boredom, pitiful eating habits, suspenseful thrillers, and extensive aerobic exercise the wonderfully devious Plutonian Spy (a.k.a Rachel) and her sidekick the Earthly Genius (Jeff has a high opinion of himself) have been pretty busy. To head off their many adventures they first went to a deadly poisonous discussion on the Deep Dark, nearly fell asleep, read a government book, texted Kadie, brushed up on ASL skills, and proceeded to endure the relentless attacks of the Deep Dark SIDE!!! Then after enduring an hour and a half of brain-washing critics and defending against their constant attacks on the minds of our youth our heroes succeeded in defeating the Deep Dark Side! And left the meeting discreetly out the side exit.

To commence with the evening our heroes then rushed on to meet the next foe FIVE O’CLOCK TRAFFIC!!! Revving the engine of the a truck that was new MAYBE before the last ice age, our heroes sped on to their destination and got in the SLOWEST lane of traffic no thanks to the lacking skills of the sidekick Earthling. After racing past various perilous circumstances our heroes pulled into the home of the infamous Barnes family. Known head-quarters of the fatally magnanimous Chocolate Cookie Duo. Our hero the amazing Plutonian Spy endured the relentless lessons of the chief male cook while the sidekick commenced in cleaning his nuclear waste pit of a room. Upon succeeding in both endeavors our heroes replenished their bodies by consuming pulverized particles of earth creatures and the tortured remains of starchy substances.

Upon receiving their nourishment our heroes went off to fight “The Dark” found in Theater 4 down-town Edwards. The Dark was featured in the film “The Seeker” and was a magnificent production that constantly kept our heroes clutching their seats in suspense. Upon finishing the film our heroes attempted to race up the stairs of an 8 floor building hoping to defeat each other in a race to the top since no other enemies could be found. The pitiful excuse of an Earthling Genius Sidekick then proceeded to trick our gorgeous hero the Plutonian Spy by making her carry the multi-gallon tank of beverage forcing her to lug it up the stairs and thus lose.

SO pretty much we’ve been pretty busy!!

The More in Depth Depositions of an Earthly Genius-

It all started when they attended the panel of The Deep Dark, the extremely mind numbing novel about the Kellogg mine fire. You would think something that exciting would make a great story….well only an old guy that kept referencing his personal myspace page (creepy silence!!!)….weird huh? Anyways, our friend the Genius was very grateful for the companionship of his friend The Plutonian Spy who kept him company…other than her constant focus on her Government homework……HAH it all makes sense now…(sorry the narrator had a genius’ epiphany…will explain later)

….ummm…oh yes, his partner in crime…wait I mean fellow HERO OF THE YEAR was also texting their fellow hero The Monkey Queen, after a few comments back and forth between the two of them…they decided to leave the mind dulling panel with Byron and his own opinions (will elaborate later) early would satisfy their craving for food Unfortunately the evil spirits that possess the streets of downtown Boise had other plans. To them, if the Heroes were stalled in the middle of 5 o’clock traffic, they would starve to death. But there was no need to worry….or fear rather…The Earthly Genius has a stomach of steel to break down starches, lipids, and proteins for his overly large brain…As for the Plutonian Spy, she had had her share of fruit and rice cakes (again, will elaborate later…..hopefully)

Finally upon reaching the Genius’ house for nourishment (a.k.a. dinner) they proceeded to unlock the mysteries of gems in a mine…not related to The Deep Dark. Unfortunately a robot confounded their plan and distracted them… Hopelessly lost (the Genius couldn’t find his car keys) they had to resort to parental keys….UGH!!!...anyways they entered the amazing red automobile “with a/c and good music” and headed downtown for an unknown movie…Previous to this moment while trying to unlock the secrets of “the gateway” the two found a movie possibly worthy of their intellect. The Seeker: The Dark is Rising. This movie was well worth their effort. (It is a must for everyone) The Plutonian Spy says so, and the Genius says the numbers really do add up, that means that it is a good movie.

After leaving mentally satisfied and adrenaline amplified (they jumped in their seats like 25 times) the two Heroes decided to race up the 8 flights of stairs the parking garage held. Secretly wanting to be the first to the top (they were the only car parked on the top,…and the 3 levels below as well….) the earthly Genius was holding the 64 oz. orange Fanta drink, and didn’t want to run with it. So, using his excessive brain power, he pulled a fast one on the Plutonian Spy and faked a leg injury, got her to take the bait (the drink) and thus beat her to the top
…And thus ends our heroes’ adventures for the night, and the encapsulation of them into cyberspace.

-Universal Recollections of the Elite Geniuses-

Pass The Butter Please.....

This is really interesting.....it is something that was sent to my grandpa, and I thought that it would be fitting to post on my illustrious blog. OH, and everything that is in "( )" is my own opinion.

Margarine was origionally manufactured to fatten turkeys. But, when it killed all of the turkeys, the people who had put all of the money into the research wanted a payback (which makes sense, I wouldn't want to lose money just cuz a bunch of turkeys died.) so they put their heads together to figure out what to do with this product to get their money back.

It was a white substance with no food appeal so they added yellow coloring and sold it to people to use in the place of butter. (now lets stop right here. Why in the world would you want to sell something to the general public, when it killed innocent turkeys. I mean come on.....duh....ugh...some people are so dumb. But I guess that people really did, and still do buy it...who knows......?) So, how do you like it? They have come out with some clever flavorings.

Do You Know.... the difference between margarine and butter?

Read on to the end....this gets very interesting.

• Both have the same amount of calories
• Butter is slightly higher in saturated fats at 8 grams compared to the 5 grams of margarine
• Eating margarine can increase heart disease in women by 53% over eating the same amount of butter, according to a recent Harvard medical study...(ewwww, and that is sad)
• Eating butter increases the absorption of many other nutrients in other foods (so does that mean that the more butter I eat, the more nutrients are absorbed into my bloodstream...? I hope so, I like butter too much)
• Butter has many nutritional benfits where margarine has a few only because they are added (GROSS, artificial benefits are never good, that means like artificial nutrition....right...oh well, i am confusing myself now. Great, now I feel like Miss South Carolina)
• Butter tastes much better than margarine, and it can enhance the flavors of other foods. (Not much more that I can add to that)
• Butter has been around for centuries, where margarine has been around for less than 100 years..(Ok, I have kind of a mixed opinion about this one, because I really like technology, but I think that we should stick with the tried and true with this one.)

And now for Margarine...

• Is very high in trans fatty acids (I think that that is a bad thing....is it Rachel?)
• Can triple your risk or Coronary Heart Disease. (Which I just looked up on google, and it means the arteries that go to your heart and supply it with oxygen get smaller... which smaller arteries = BAD Things)
• Increases total cholesterol and LDL cholesterol (this is the bad cholesterol) and lowers HDL cholesterol (this is the good cholesterol)\
• Increases the risk of cancers in general by 5 times
• Lowers quality of breast milk
• Decreases insulin response (this is very bad if you are a diabetic)
• Decreases immune response (this just means that you will get sicker than usual more often, I don't like getting sick...So why would you do this to yourself?)

This is the most disturbing fact......This is the part that you all will most likely remember the most...

• Margarine is but ONE MOLECULE away from being PLASTIC...

This fact alone was enough to have me avoiding margarine for the rest of my life, and anything else that is hydrogenated (this means that hydrogen is added, changing the molecular structure of the substance....um my body doesn't like things that are chemically changed on the molecular level in a Chem lab on purpose. )

(I don't know if this is a fact) But you can try this for yourself:

1. Purchase a tub or margarine and leave it in your garage or shaded area. Within a couple days you will note a couple of things.

• no flies, not even the pesky fruit fly (does it really matter, I hate all flies, especially horse flies, they hurt!!) will go near it (that should definetly tell you something)
• it does not rot or smell differently because it has no nutritional value; nothing will grow on it. Even tose teeny weeny microorganisms (the ones that really gross me out.) will not find a home to grow. Why? Because it is nearly plastic!!!

Would you melt your tupperware and spread it on your toast...? (which is a disgusting notion I think)

So, share these astounding a gross facts with your friends ... (if you want to BUTTER them up!)(cheesy i know, but it will have to do)

Chinese Proverb:

"When someone shares something of value with you and you benefit from it, you have a moral obligation to share it with others"

Ha, so finally that is over with. I can't believe that it is really this long, but i found it very interesting. I didn't really know that much about Butter vs. Margarine, not that I really wanted to know that much about the two. Oh well, I hope that you all enjoyed it. And more than that, I would like you comments on what you thought of it. I thought that it was interesting, and if enough of you do, then I will post more things like this more often. If that english made sense.

So, Goodnight to you all, unfortunately I have Homework to do....ugh See ya. -Jeff